at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
you would pick up someone in the library
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
