Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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