So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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