She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
