the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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