so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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