HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
