The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize