wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
