Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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