Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
