After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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