This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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