My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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