so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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