idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
