Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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