I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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