Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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