I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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