Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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