He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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