I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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