2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
