4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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