He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
