he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
