yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
