does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
