This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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