just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
