I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
