Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
