So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
