I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
worst night to have a conscience
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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