Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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