Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
