I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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