He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
