You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
