I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
