Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
