How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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