ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
