I hate all girls vehemently.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
