Banned from zoo.
Again?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
