I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
