If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
