You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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