yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
You smell like stripper and shame
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
