Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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