Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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